It's official, I've passed on some bad habits to the rugrat. Well, they aren't REALLY bad, but probably inappropriate in a social setting and I think I need to stress situational appropriateness. The habits I'm talking about relate to bathroom humor, so if you don't like it, just stop reading now because I promise it'll be too much for you if you don't find fart jokes funny.
Last night we hit up Zoo Lights at the Hogle Zoo with my best friend Allee and her husband Matt. This would be the infamous Aunt Allee to those of you Malia has shared with. Anyway, it was pretty cold, but apparently rugrat's butt stayed nice and toasty all night long given the amount of gas happening. I do not exaggerate, she spent nearly the whole time farting it up. Each fart was followed up by a giggle and an "excuse me". So, at least she's polite about it. She also dropped a few while we were at Olive Garden and I'm glad that when she was doing it, there weren't people sitting way close to us. I'm sure I should have at least pretended to be embarrassed by it, but she's 6! It's not like she's any good at holding it in at this point in time. At least she owns up to it to. Frankly there isn't much worse than a farter who won't own up to it.
The fun is not limited to farting, but also to the bathroom. Oh, I'm not going into the details of what happens between her and the toilet because that's too much even for me, but more her attitude towards it. How many 6 year old girls do you know who have reading material for the bathroom? Well, technically, it's mine, but she's partial to reading through cooking magazines so she regularly steals my Taste of Home from the kitchen to peruse while using the restroom. She also likes to mark her place so she can continue. I swear that girl is in the bathroom for like 15 minute stretches because she forgets what she's in there for and just starts reading. Yeah, she's her mother's AND grandfather's kid.
The last piece I attribute to her Uncle JC because even though she probably picked it up from me, he's more infamous in the family for doing it. Nearly every time she poops, she announces as she comes back into the living room: "Do No-ot go in there" a la Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura. Yes, I find it to be hilarious and I crack up every time she does it.
So, either I'm the best mom ever for being able to find such humor, or the worst role model ever for allowing, nay, encouraging some of this behavior.
Oh, and this is the type of posting you get when I make a personal vow to post more because people keep harassing me about wanting more entertainment. So, you asked for it.