Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I'm an idiot

I know how much everyone loves my text only posts, but trust me when I say this one is worth it. Believe me, the title really says it all.

It's no secret that I am pretty smart. I'm not going to even pretend modesty because anyone who knows me knows it would be a load of crap. I do, however, believe this intelligence is balanced by a healthy dose of instances of absolute idiocy. I'm sure many of you have heard stories of this, the most recent, outside of today's story, is the one involving hemorrhoid cream being purchased and used instead of hydrocortisone cream. The packaging looked the same, and frankly, it worked just as well, if not better. I still haven't bought hydrocortisone cream, but I have had bugbites since. Yep, I've been using the hemorrhoid cream and you know what? It works, so there.

Anyway, on to today's instance of absolute idiocy. In attempting to balance my lazy parenting when it comes to meals, I've been trying to at least make breakfast every morning. I figure that will somewhat balance out the fact that 90% of the time we have cold cereal for dinner. This morning I opted to make egg muffins because I had all the ingredients. Another attempt of mine is to try and be a bit more healthy so I recently purchased the olive oil pan spray instead of the regular kind. Yeah, olive oil is still fatty, but it's one of those fats that is also good for you. Anyway, if you are familiar with these cans, they have a little red dot that you are supposed to line up the spray thingie with. Yeah, I'm technically inclined. Thingie is close enough. So, because I've not used this one before, it's not lined up. I make my move to turn the spray thingie and instead of just turning it, I pushed it down a little as I turned it. This resulted in spraying myself from the right to the left right across in my eyes. Brilliant, aren't I?

After I rushed to the bathroom and spent 15 minutes rinsing out my eyes and attempting to clean my contacts off, I managed to finish cooking breakfast even though everything was a touch blurry. Good thing that I have backup glasses. Normally I only wear them in the evenings and weekends at home, but now I get to wear them to work. I will give the olive oil one positive though. It doesn't burn. There isn't any stinging or itching or anything like you would normally have happen if you sprayed something in your eyes. My eyes seem to move more easily as well, so maybe it's a good lubricant. Unfortunately, I am pretty sure I've not gotten it all out and that's why things are a touch blurry. It's getting better as the day progresses and I use more eye drops though, so I'm sure it will be fine in the end.

Well, there you have my idiot story of the day. I hope I've provided you with entertainment to start off your day.