Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I nearly killed a woman in Walmart last week

Now that I've grabbed your attention, I'm going to caveat that with a "nearly killed her with laughter". Ha!

Today's post comes as a result of my linability to have a solely inner monologue and my inability to refrain from answering my daughter honestly when she asks me questions. Apparently this is delightful for those around me. I related this story to a friend at dinner last week and she mentioned that I provide a lot of entertainment. I'm taking that in a positive way, though I'm sure part of the entertainment comes from watching me slowly descend further into insanity. No complaints though because I'm enjoying the descent as well.

On to the story. Some time ago, someone on Twitter (@sarahbellum) mentioned that her deodorant smelled like cookies. This intrigued me and even more so when I found out that the scent of it was called Vanilla Chai and it's made by Secret. I decided that I needed to look into this because I always wear vanilla scented perfumes and this would not clash with that. In fact, a friend of mine thinks it's me every time she smells vanilla when she's out shopping. I also like to think that anytime she's baking and has to use vanilla that she also thinks of me, but that's just because I like to think I'm more important in the day to day stuff of other people's lives than I really am. Occasionally I borrow someone else's perfume when I am going to her house, so I can sneak up on her and she doesn't know it is me. I know, I'm like a 12 year old.

Okay, really onto the story. The rugrat and I were in Walmart last week and since I needed new deodorant, I decided to check it out and see if I might like it. I picked it up and smelled. It did indeed smell like cookies. I determined that it was a little too much for me and place it back on the shelf. Here is where the crazy starts. Malia asked me why I wasn't going to get it and I replied that I didn't think I could handle my armpits smelling like cookies all the time because it was just too much. Unbeknownst to me, there was a lady standing behind me who started laughing so hard she started choking. After a few minutes she had gotten a hold of herself enough to sniff it for herself. She agreed that it did smell like cookies. She offered the advice that vanilla is an aphrodisiac to which I replied that I didn't think I wanted anyone getting the urge to do THAT sort of thing to my armpits because I was pretty sure it was inappropriate. That set her off again. I'm pretty sure that I was the highlight of her evening. She even told me that I was.

So, that is my tale of almost killing someone in Walmart. I wish I could say that this was an isolated incident, but it's not. I just can't seem to refrain from saying out loud the comments that pop into my head. Like the time when Malia was about 3 and a lady asked me when I was due. I looked at Malia and told her "about 3 years ago". That time the lady didn't laugh, but the cashier had a really hard time ringing me up because she was trying not to laugh at the mortified lady behind me. She was still red as a tomato when I was done checking out. I know, it was kind of jerk thing to say, but it was funny in my head so I'm okay with that.

Side Note, as of this writing, Malia has 7 day's in a row of getting greens. She's informed me that she's trying for 20 days in a row. I'm so proud!

Monday, February 2, 2009

I blame life

As most of you know, I've recently gone back to school. Because of this Malia and I aren't having as many adventures which explains the lack of posts. I keep thinking about posting about the cluster that has been getting back into school and the one surrounding health issues, but then I always decide that that stuff is just too boring and no one really wants to hear it. I figure I've bored you enough with the school issues. Well, that was a pretty long segue into telling about this weekend fun..

Saturday we got up bright and early, hit the Starbucks for some lovely hot chocolate and went and got taxes done, then had breakfast, then did shopping for a bridal shower gift, then went to the library, then got gas, and arrived only 15 minutes late to my cousin's bridal shower. Yeah, the morning felt like that sentence. Just kept going and going and I thought I would never get to the end. Anyway, the bridal shower was my kind of bridal shower. Food, chit-chat, open presents, dessert, then go home. No crazy games or any of that business. For this I salute Aunt Jamie. Also, what says a bunch of chicks getting together more than having a salad bar and then decadent cream filled desserts afterwards? Malia and Haylee were big fans of that part and here they are enjoying their treats. I'm pretty sure these were their third or fourth, but they were happy, so it's all good.

After the shower, my sisters and I dragged my mom and the girls along to the fabric store so we could get material for some shirts I'm making for them. I even got Kami to agree to let me make her a muu-muu. After which she will no longer be eligible to mock me for my love of them. I forgot to take pictures of the material, but here are the shirts I'm making first. First we have the muumuu, then Kami's shirt, then Krissy's shirt.

After the fun, Malia and I hit up the grocery store for snacky supplies and then got to the parents. I got up first thing Sunday morning and threw together the BBQ. It was a very simple recipe and it was beef and pork. I went with pork chops instead of pork butt. I'm sad because it would have entertained me to tell the family they were eating pork butt. Alas, Kent's grocery let me down and there was no pork butt to be had. I forgot to take a picture of everyone enjoying the sandwiches yesterday, but I'm having some of the leftovers for breakfast, so here is a picture of the yumminess. Oh yeah, there was football game too, but I don't care who won, it's just a good excuse to have yummy food and hang with the family.